Thursday, July 24, 2014

Agh.

Medicare denied my CGM, a lifesaving device for diabetics that continuously monitors your blood sugar so you know if you’re going high or low or are good.

Last night, my sugar crashed in my sleep. I almost didn’t wake up. Thank God I did. I walked to get juice and my knees gave out because my glucose level was so goddamned low. I fell face forward. I was alone in my apartment. If I’d passed out without getting juice in me, I would die. Luckily the tumble was fairly benign & I sucked down juice from the kitchen floor.

The CGM is $700. Not bad. It’ll hook up to my pump so they work together, like baby robots, to suspend insulin when I’m low. Right now I give a one time shot of long-acting insulin at night and it lasts for 24 hours; I also give half a dozen injections a day for treating before meals, and I check my sugar 4-8 times a day. The CGM and insulin pump will largely eliminate those pricks. (Unfortunately, neither device works on my dating life.)

So, the pump is covered and will cost about $100/month out of pocket. The CGM will be $700 upfront and then $1300 (!) every 90 days. (!!!!!!) People have advised me to crowd raise but it’s not my style and plus I’d feel bad doing anything fun when I should use all funds for the CGM. Currently I get $1000/month in SSI, pay $800 for rent, $300 for meds. I’m technically unable to work. I live off savings and babysitting.

My question is: What would you do? Strain your parents? Beg your grandmother? Cry to the Internet (check…)? Or is there another way, a way I haven’t thought of…

I’m really asking for any advice and I appreciate the help. I’m drowning in medical bills as it is (30k) and can’t add to the pile.

Thanks, homies.

brightwalldarkroom:

"There are a handful of shows I ask everyone I talk to about television if they have seen: The Wire, Mad Men, Friday Night Lights. But when I ask them if they’ve watched and loved Friday Night Lights, what I mean is are you my kind of person? Are you all heart? Are you bothered by this 21st-century lack of earnestness, our abundance of irony? Do you wonder how we forgive and coach ourselves to do better? How we can strive again for valor and loyalty and daring and redemption? 
I fear we are defaulting to needless negativity as some kind of social currency. But Friday Night Lights is the most earnest show I’ve ever watched. Not sentimental, however: these characters aren’t perfect. In fact, this show is incredibly astute at allowing humans to have stratums of complexity: to have character and occasionally act without it, and then to live in the mire of their own dumb choices. Do I adore Coach? Yes. Do I think, as Tammy says, he is a molder of men and a husband of fierce devotion? Absolutely. Do I also think he can also be a self-involved, sexist prick who values his career over his wife’s? No question.
Regardless of the scale of the battle, the stakes in Friday Night Lights are rarely phony or contrived. It’s about winning games, sure, but its scope far exceeds that. This is a show that tests and reflects commitment not just on the football field, but back in the locker room. And in Street’s rehab room, and Saracen’s grandmother’s living room, and Julie’s bedroom, and eventually out to Luke’s farm and Tim’s prison and Tammy’s dream in Philadelphia. This commitment is not about obligation, but something more sacred. Duty. The hidden gale that blusters and grows within us and makes us yearn to give someone else exactly what they need.”
—Erica Cantoni on Friday Night Lights (Bright Wall/Dark Room, Issue #14, July 2014)

Goddamn. Erica nails it every time.

brightwalldarkroom:

"There are a handful of shows I ask everyone I talk to about television if they have seen: The Wire, Mad Men, Friday Night Lights. But when I ask them if they’ve watched and loved Friday Night Lights, what I mean is are you my kind of person? Are you all heart? Are you bothered by this 21st-century lack of earnestness, our abundance of irony? Do you wonder how we forgive and coach ourselves to do better? How we can strive again for valor and loyalty and daring and redemption? 

I fear we are defaulting to needless negativity as some kind of social currency. But Friday Night Lights is the most earnest show I’ve ever watched. Not sentimental, however: these characters aren’t perfect. In fact, this show is incredibly astute at allowing humans to have stratums of complexity: to have character and occasionally act without it, and then to live in the mire of their own dumb choices. Do I adore Coach? Yes. Do I think, as Tammy says, he is a molder of men and a husband of fierce devotion? Absolutely. Do I also think he can also be a self-involved, sexist prick who values his career over his wife’s? No question.

Regardless of the scale of the battle, the stakes in Friday Night Lights are rarely phony or contrived. It’s about winning games, sure, but its scope far exceeds that. This is a show that tests and reflects commitment not just on the football field, but back in the locker room. And in Street’s rehab room, and Saracen’s grandmother’s living room, and Julie’s bedroom, and eventually out to Luke’s farm and Tim’s prison and Tammy’s dream in Philadelphia. This commitment is not about obligation, but something more sacred. Duty. The hidden gale that blusters and grows within us and makes us yearn to give someone else exactly what they need.”

—Erica Cantoni on Friday Night Lights (Bright Wall/Dark Room, Issue #14, July 2014)

Goddamn. Erica nails it every time.

carol hathaway in every season: two

Been ER-bingeing. Got seven new diseases now.

Also: NY Med is fucking awesome.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014
This weekend, my sister and I are taking Sadie to the city for the first time ever! We’re so excited to stay with @adonnrowley (Sadie’s been looking at the girls’ pictures) and do a bunch of fun touristy stuff. I was a nanny on the Upper West Side for years & I cannot wait to take Sadie to all of our favorite spots and playgrounds. Anyway, NYC friends, holler if you’d like to grab a drink. #sadieandthecity #dopeniece @kristiebergin

This weekend, my sister and I are taking Sadie to the city for the first time ever! We’re so excited to stay with @adonnrowley (Sadie’s been looking at the girls’ pictures) and do a bunch of fun touristy stuff. I was a nanny on the Upper West Side for years & I cannot wait to take Sadie to all of our favorite spots and playgrounds. Anyway, NYC friends, holler if you’d like to grab a drink. #sadieandthecity #dopeniece @kristiebergin

Monday, July 21, 2014 Saturday, July 19, 2014
paraunting:

notesfromtheroad:

Hey everyone, I know I’ve posted a lot about this the last few days, but just want to share this one more time - This show is only up for four days!!! Please come by tonight and see the work. 6-10pm, 355 W. Broadway in Soho. THANKS!

Please check out Wyatt’s work. He’s an amazing photographer and dad. Earlier this year, Instagram deactivated his account for posting half naked photos of his kids. They were pictures of innocent childhood, but the Internet and those nuts on GOMI tore him and his family to shreds. I watched it all unfold in shock and even created an account to respond to the insanity of GOMI. I was then also ripped to shreds.Obviously, his new show is in response to that. I tend to believe that nudity is 100% okay, and that how we’ve people want to dress or undress is fine with me (within limits. Like I don’t want your scrotum on my bar stool.) It’s natural and beautiful. We shouldn’t shame or objectify it.The show’s been rescheduled but keep an eye out for Wyatt Neumann. He’s doing interesting and smart stuff.

GOOD ART. GOOD GUY.

paraunting:

notesfromtheroad:

Hey everyone, I know I’ve posted a lot about this the last few days, but just want to share this one more time - This show is only up for four days!!! Please come by tonight and see the work. 6-10pm, 355 W. Broadway in Soho. THANKS!

Please check out Wyatt’s work. He’s an amazing photographer and dad.

Earlier this year, Instagram deactivated his account for posting half naked photos of his kids. They were pictures of innocent childhood, but the Internet and those nuts on GOMI tore him and his family to shreds. I watched it all unfold in shock and even created an account to respond to the insanity of GOMI. I was then also ripped to shreds.

Obviously, his new show is in response to that. I tend to believe that nudity is 100% okay, and that how we’ve people want to dress or undress is fine with me (within limits. Like I don’t want your scrotum on my bar stool.) It’s natural and beautiful. We shouldn’t shame or objectify it.

The show’s been rescheduled but keep an eye out for Wyatt Neumann. He’s doing interesting and smart stuff.

GOOD ART. GOOD GUY.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

tuneage:

New Music: Denny White - Burn Out

Denny White’s Burn Out teeters the line of pop and rock. Electronically mastered with hints of lo-fi, the vibrations suit the raspy nature of White’s vocals. It’s good vibes, almost too cool, perfect for July nights.

Mm.

Monday, July 14, 2014
when i was ten months old, they told my parents that I was sick and would stay that way.


Between scary childhood illness and what is now my Reality, i have done things. things i know and am sure of. i have traveled, failed at skiing, made jokes, written stories, gotten hangovers, and messed up a solo in my 4th grade chorus. I’ve lived on the West Coast, I’ve fulfilled my California dream. I’ve been to Paris. I’ve seen Europe alone.

i have been in love and packed myself in tight with friends and mistakes and memories.

none of this is linear. none of this can be predicted, for any of us. and especially for me, when my health often hangs so precariously in the balance between the Outside and the Inside; between my Bed and the Bar.

and so, because of this, i don’t plan long-term. i barely plan short-term. it’s not because i think i’m dying. (i’m not.) but with just a stomachache, a tooth abscess—my whole body, my whole weekend could fall apart.

i have “commitment issues”, with everything from drinks to meetings to brunches to concerts to vacations to relationships. flaky, one or many or everyone has called me.

but now, tonight— now i am looking at calendars and thinking: I’ll be in LA soon and I’ll work and until then, I’ll have Sadie, and I’ll take her to NYC, but… i just don’t feel…up for it…

so.

instead of these ideas, tangents, hopes, invisible itineraries–

i’ll just plan to get up tomorrow. move around. walk the streets. try to get some work done.

live.

right now.
when i was ten months old, they told my parents that I was sick and would stay that way. Between scary childhood illness and what is now my Reality, i have done things. things i know and am sure of. i have traveled, failed at skiing, made jokes, written stories, gotten hangovers, and messed up a solo in my 4th grade chorus. I’ve lived on the West Coast, I’ve fulfilled my California dream. I’ve been to Paris. I’ve seen Europe alone.

i have been in love and packed myself in tight with friends and mistakes and memories.

none of this is linear. none of this can be predicted, for any of us. and especially for me, when my health often hangs so precariously in the balance between the Outside and the Inside; between my Bed and the Bar.

and so, because of this, i don’t plan long-term. i barely plan short-term. it’s not because i think i’m dying. (i’m not.) but with just a stomachache, a tooth abscess—my whole body, my whole weekend could fall apart.

i have “commitment issues”, with everything from drinks to meetings to brunches to concerts to vacations to relationships. flaky, one or many or everyone has called me.

but now, tonight— now i am looking at calendars and thinking: I’ll be in LA soon and I’ll work and until then, I’ll have Sadie, and I’ll take her to NYC, but… i just don’t feel…up for it…

so.

instead of these ideas, tangents, hopes, invisible itineraries–

i’ll just plan to get up tomorrow. move around. walk the streets. try to get some work done.

live.

right now.

paraunting:

Hi. My name is Kelly. I’m a writer, and a professional sick person, and a nanny, aunt, cousin and godmother.

I’m working on a book about surviving cancer. I’m also learning to live with serious and chronic illness as an adult.


In my infinite procrastination over writing this book, I decided to dedicate a new blog for people who aren’t moms but act like moms.I’m talking about aunts, nannies, babysitters, godmothers and uncles, and godfathers too.For everyone who loves and has a very close relationship with a child that isn’t their own.I think it could be interesting. I want to host submissions and share stories. 

So, I’ll tell start posting snippets of my life as a parAUNT, and maybe you guys will want to as well.

Welcome to parAUNTing! 

Leaving you all in the dust for babies and heartache and intact vags, cuz we just aunts, yo!

paraunting:

Hi. My name is Kelly. I’m a writer, and a professional sick person, and a nanny, aunt, cousin and godmother. I’m working on a book about surviving cancer. I’m also learning to live with serious and chronic illness as an adult. In my infinite procrastination over writing this book, I decided to dedicate a new blog for people who aren’t moms but act like moms.

I’m talking about aunts, nannies, babysitters, godmothers and uncles, and godfathers too.

For everyone who loves and has a very close relationship with a child that isn’t their own.

I think it could be interesting. I want to host submissions and share stories. So, I’ll tell start posting snippets of my life as a parAUNT, and maybe you guys will want to as well. Welcome to parAUNTing!

Leaving you all in the dust for babies and heartache and intact vags, cuz we just aunts, yo!

Sunday, July 13, 2014
Today was another “lost day,” spent sick & sleeping, battling a kidney infection. Meanwhile, Summer is barreling forward, without a thought to my own affection for the season.

Today was another “lost day,” spent sick & sleeping, battling a kidney infection. Meanwhile, Summer is barreling forward, without a thought to my own affection for the season.

Friday, July 11, 2014
Hire me today for flawless family portraits! #kellyberginphotography #familyfuntimesforever #dopeniece #dopegodson

Hire me today for flawless family portraits! #kellyberginphotography #familyfuntimesforever #dopeniece #dopegodson

Wednesday, July 9, 2014
paraunting:

More about this blog to come…

But this is how I parAUNT. How do you?

So, in my infinite procrastination over writing this book, I created a new blog for people who aren’t moms but sort of act like moms.I’m talking about aunts, nannies, babysitters, godmothers and uncles, and godfathers too.For everyone who loves and has a very close relationship with a child that isn’t their own.I think it could be interesting. I want to have submissions and share reader stories. There’s a lot more meat to this topic than you may think.Anyway, there’s nothing up there yet…but more to come.

paraunting:

More about this blog to come…

But this is how I parAUNT. How do you?

So, in my infinite procrastination over writing this book, I created a new blog for people who aren’t moms but sort of act like moms.

I’m talking about aunts, nannies, babysitters, godmothers and uncles, and godfathers too.

For everyone who loves and has a very close relationship with a child that isn’t their own.

I think it could be interesting. I want to have submissions and share reader stories. There’s a lot more meat to this topic than you may think.

Anyway, there’s nothing up there yet…but more to come.

Help, please.

Where can I watch every episode of ER online for free?

Signed,
1994

From 1 am to 9pm yesterday, I was sleeping, dead to texts on my phone, my dog’s barks, my dad unlocking my apartment door to check on me.

On good days, I almost forget how sick and tired I get. I feel pain but I play through. And then days like yesterday come around and they crush my spirit. They remind me.

I slept a couple hours last night and when I woke at 5, I decided to watch the sunrise. I love watching the world wake and come into consciousness. I can’t think of any words that inspire me quite like the sunrise does: steadfast on the beautiful days, gone when it rains.

From 1 am to 9pm yesterday, I was sleeping, dead to texts on my phone, my dog’s barks, my dad unlocking my apartment door to check on me.

On good days, I almost forget how sick and tired I get. I feel pain but I play through. And then days like yesterday come around and they crush my spirit. They remind me.

I slept a couple hours last night and when I woke at 5, I decided to watch the sunrise. I love watching the world wake and come into consciousness. I can’t think of any words that inspire me quite like the sunrise does: steadfast on the beautiful days, gone when it rains.

the sky was as pretty as I’ve ever seen it this morning. #nofilter #cosimawesome #locharbour #ocean #jerseyshore

the sky was as pretty as I’ve ever seen it this morning. #nofilter #cosimawesome #locharbour #ocean #jerseyshore